I Muse About My Vacation Plans

I was thinking about skipping taking a vacation this summer in order to save some money and try to get on top of my expenses in the event of imminent catastrophe of some kind, but now I am thinking I ought to go. Do I enjoy them? I do in theory. I only have a few years left when my older children will be little. I am depressed quite a lot about the endless grind of work and expense and the trips, modest as they are, give me something to look forward to. I am starting to feel ever more worn down, and even almost sick from time to time. Today I am feeling awful. I don't see how I will live to see 60. I am now leaning toward going,or doing something, anyway, especially as if things get really bad, I may not ever be able to go anywhere for many years, or ever. But maybe not going is what I and the family actually need. I don't know.